By Marcellus Day, Stentorian Staff Writer
As the spooky season comes upon us, ghouls are fueled by fall fun, pumpkin spice, and midterm stress. To keep you aware of the recent hauntings, the Unicorn Paranormal Team has put together another guide on ghosts and how to handle them.
The Book Whisperer is a ghost that can be found in all parts of campus. Said to take on the forms of various assigned readings, it softly whispers into the victims’ ears that they don’t need to do their reading and that it’s all common sense anyway. This ghost is rampant, and we have not found a 100% effective way to deal with them. The current conjecture is to throw the reading at the figure, although that has seen expensive fallbacks.
The Hill Haunted is a particularly interesting ghoul; a former S’math student who went into Haunted Hill was scared to death. Some say that an actor tripped him, and others say they buried him in the volleyball court beside Hill. All we know is he shifts the position of the ground to make unsuspecting victims trip and fall in odd places such as up the stairs. If found, fall gracefully and strike a cool pose; he will be so frustrated that his attempt failed he will retreat to his resting place.
Please keep yourself safe this Halloween, and remember: be on the lookout, and if you see something, report it to the Unicorn Paranormal Activity Team.