By Teresa Fang, Stentorian Editor-in-Chief
A super confidential investigative report into the disappearance of the Instagram account, NCSSM Uranus, which erased their carbon footprint with just one conveniently-placed “delete account” button, was created for the purpose of being rivals with The Stentorian. According to third-party investigator Shrew D. Dodgers, the account was run by one man who claimed his application was rejected by the editorial board. As the editorial board, we have no recollection of this man because he simply did not submit the application in time. He was recently found in the corner of the PFM, building a makeshift newspaper box using an amalgamation of scrapped 3D-printed parts and frozen earthworms as glue, for the latest issue of Uranus.
“Idiot. Only live earthworms are sticky enough to use as glue.” – Jesus Berthardt, Box Engineer
“Look, I’ve been saying it for a long time, I know it, everybody knows it, this man is bad news. Bad. Terrible guy. Very mean.” – Donald Grump, Communications Specialist
“He was funny until he spelled my name wrong.” – Dominiquq ASdjlajm\\,a, Email Spellchecker
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