By Marcellus Day, Stentorian Staff Writer
It’s a dark and stormy night for NCSSM, as the ghosts and ghouls of Watts Hospital and old NCSSM students who didn’t complete their orientation on time seek new victims: the juniors. Fret not, they aren’t as scary as physics labs, and with this short guide, you will have all the tools you need to identify and deal with all the hauntings of NCSSM.
The Royall Nurse is the ghost of a heartbroken former Watts Hospital nurse. She went out past curfew to meet with her lover and never returned. That is, she never returned alive. She can be found roaming residential halls in search of juniors to hypnotize into breaking the 2-week rule, accompanied by the sound of her high heels clacking on the floor. If found, start over-explaining your comfort TV show that you binge-watched for the fourth time instead of writing your paper to her. She will soon realize that there is no hope for you and retreat.
The Phantom Plate Picker is a ghoul with sticky fingers. His death? While leaping out of bed at 8:25 a.m., knowing he had an 8:30 a.m. class, he slipped on a PFM plate that he stole and fell to his demise. He loves to steal plates from the PFM and place them in unsuspecting victims’ rooms, causing a great heap of paranoia yet an equal amount of laziness on the part of the victim. If you find yourself a victim, sneak the plates back into the PFM and return them.
These are the least of the frightening beings that we share this campus with. Be on the lookout, and if you see something, report it to the Unicorn Paranormal Activity Team. More guides will be shared throughout the year.
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